I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
