VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
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Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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