i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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