are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
