im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it was like eating out sand paper
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
