honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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