Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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