no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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