Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
