so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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