I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
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The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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