we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
