just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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