it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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