and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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