sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
