just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
