I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
