Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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