I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize