Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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