There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
