Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
