I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
please don't ironically join a cult
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