so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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