i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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