if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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