she woke up with a sticky ear
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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