You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
