ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize