He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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