this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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