you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
