drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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