hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
