Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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