Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
