This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize