Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
