She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
