Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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