Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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