The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize