I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it's great music for shaving your balls
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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