I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.