woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me