we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?