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physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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