You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
