Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
