No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
