ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
