I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
