I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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