On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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